3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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