Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize