you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
