So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
