it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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