had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
