Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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