KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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