her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
