I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize