I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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