mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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