How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
