he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
