I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
