I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
