but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
