how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
