that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
