It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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