I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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