Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
