well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
