This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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