dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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