apparently the secret to your success is patron
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Randomize
