Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
