I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
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