he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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