How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
