Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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