Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
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