You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
