no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
