i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Randomize
