Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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