Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize