OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
