this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
