Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
