Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
