When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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