this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
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