look no pants
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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