you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
