I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
