I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
There's always time for handjobs
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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