Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My penis needs a shock collar
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
