Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
