even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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