Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
