It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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