i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize