There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
