the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
