We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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