I wanna bring you to show and tell
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
