I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
