Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Randomize
