its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
