In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
