I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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