Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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