she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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