I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
